Tips on how to talk to your child about stranger danger

Rachel FitzD is a parenting expert from NickWatch, the new connected smartwatch for kids. Having worked with parents, babies and children for more than 40 years, Rachel is passionate about encouraging and helping parents to gain the knowledge, insights and practical skills they need to become confident, competent and compassionate parents. She shares her top tips for keeping children safe while out and about.

  1. Teach your child their address and phone number.

Even young children can learn their address and phone number – important if they ever get lost and someone finds them and needs to call you. Those who have trouble remembering can have the details written down and tucked somewhere safe, making sure they know where it is.

  1. Discuss the difference between ‘GOOD’ and ‘BAD’ strangers

Model making good choices by talking out loud: “I’m not sure which is our bus stop but there’s a cafe so let’s go inside and ask the person behind the till.” Shop assistants, women with children, police officers and groups of children near their own age are generally better choices than single adults on their own. Finding help in public places is smarter than choosing somewhere they are unlikely to be seen, and encourage them to learn to trust their own instincts – if they feel something or someone is strange or a bit ‘off’ then they should get away and look for help as fast as possible.

Having a code word for school pick-ups can help children to distinguish who is and isn’t safe to travel home with. Let your child choose the word and remind them that, if anyone else ever asks them to go with them and DOESN’T know the code word then it is fine for them to run away shouting as loudly as they can.

  1. Help your child to know their neighbourhood.

Knowing the neighbourhood can help when children need to find safety or get home quickly, so talk as you walk around your neighbourhood together, pointing out their friends’ houses, the local shops, parks, bus routes and so on. When out for a drive, ask them to direct you home – four and five year olds should be able to tell you when to ‘turn now!’ as you get close and older children will be able to spot a wrong turn and re-direct you.

  1. Encourage their confidence talking to strangers

Teaching children to ‘never talk to strangers’ simply doesn’t keep them safe. It is much more useful for children to learn how to seek help when they need it and you aren’t around by supporting them from a young age to become confident at handing over payment for their own sandwich in a cafe, asking another mum to tie their shoe laces for them in the park, and taking responsibility for telling the doctor themselves ‘where it hurts’.

  1. Ask children for their strategies.

Children are more likely to remember their own scheme for staying safe than your grown-up one! Engaging their help will build their self-esteem and declare your faith in their resourcefulness so ask them for their ideas: “have a look around this park … who could you run to if you needed help and I wasn’t here?” Remember that a confident child will be more able to think straight and keep safe. A child who has been taught to fear everyone can appear, and actually be, more vulnerable, so keep these conversations chatty and empowering.

  1. Don’t be afraid to talk about stranger danger

If you start talking to your child about stranger danger while they are still young, this helps them to grow in confidence and assess and manage risks. Model good behaviour by chatting naturally about the steps you take to stay aware and safe: “That alley gives us the quickest route home but we can’t be seen down there. Let’s go the safer way past the shops where there are lots of people.” As your child becomes older, conversations will take their natural course and you will feel able to explore how “most strangers want to help us, but a few want to hurt us and it isn’t always easy to tell which is which”. Always just answer the question in front of you – giving too much information too soon can overwhelm and confuse a young child. Once they have processed the answer you have given them, they will ask for more information and you can gradually open up the subject at a pace they can deal with. This gentle, child-led approach reduces the chance that your child will either know too little too late or too much too soon.

The NickWatch, a new connected smartwatch for children aged 6-9, with built-in GPS tracking and a wealth of Nickelodeon-inspired interactive games and tasks for kids, is available to purchase now for £79.95 on www.nickwatch.com with the linked Caretaker App downloadable on all App stores (from as little as £6.25 per month for a 2-year subscription).

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Yvonne arnaud

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