Exam results day can be a stressful time, not least the run up to the day as households anxiously await the envelope (or email) to open!
The day itself can also be a challenge, especially if the results aren’t what your child was hoping for. Research has found over half of children feel worried (52%) or stressed (43%) because of exams, and with 59% of parents saying they don’t feel equipped to talk to their children about mental health, it can be difficult for children and parents to break through and connect.
To help parents feel better informed ahead of results day, Harriet Finlayson, Specialist Mental Health Nurse at Bupa has shared some top tips on how best to support children before, during and after results :
- Encourage conversation
Create a safe space for open and honest communication. Encourage your child to express their anxieties and concerns about exams and results without judgement. Sometimes, simply talking things through can be incredibly helpful in managing stress. Validate their feelings and remind them that it is ok to feel disappointed or upset, and no matter what the result there are always options that will open new doors.
- Avoid comparison
It’s natural that your child will start comparing themselves to their classmates or siblings, if their results aren’t as good as they expected. However it’s important to note that doing so can make them feel worse. Instead try to remind them of their own achievements which may sit outside of academia.
- Seek a teacher’s advice
Schools often are able to provide additional support and expertise for parents and children alike, whether that be discussing resitting exams, foundation years, vocational qualifications, or apprenticeships. Try scheduling a meeting with your child’s teacher or the school’s advisor and ask your child if they’d like you to attend with them as well. 17% of children report that they’d speak to a teacher or guidance counsellor if they felt down so may value the opportunity to speak to them one on one.
- Be a role model
Being a positive role model is part of a parents job year round, but especially so in tough times. While you might not feel you have all the answers, you could consider sharing your own setbacks or past experiences and how you dealt with them. This can help to put into perspective for your child that this is something you can come back from. Your own behaviour year round can shape how your child deals with setbacks or situations where they might feel stressed or worried.
To support parents and their children in helping them to break through the bubble and be heard, Bupa has created a parent’s guide to opening up mental health conversations with their children. Bupa has also produced new interactive videos with mental health platform JAAQ (Just Ask a Question) to help parents have these important conversations and highlight what mental health signs to look out for.
