A recent study has revealed that pressure to excel is causing anxiety for 1 in 3 students, with 1 in 4 saying it was nearly unbearable.
Results day can feel like an anxiety-inducing moment for students, but the adults around them can help keep it in perspective. Whether it is GCSEs, A-levels or another exam, the most helpful response is calm, practical and reassuring: grades matter, but they are not the whole story.
Here are top tips from teachers, education scientists, and change experts to support students before, during, and after results day.
- Have a Plan B, Avoid a Cliff-Edge and Build Resilience
Katharine Radice, author of The Parent’s Guide to Exam Stress with over 20 years’ experience in the classroom, says families can help their teenagers prepare emotionally and practically before results are opened.
‘Parents should talk through possible outcomes in advance and consider what a Plan B might look like, focussing on the upsides of different options, even if they’re not the first choice.’ Says Radice. ‘Calmly discussing what to do if results are better than expected, as expected, or disappointing gives students a sense of agency and stops the day feeling like a cliff edge. Staying positive about different outcomes will help your child make the best of whatever grades land.’
Radice also urges parents to celebrate effort, not just outcomes. ‘Teenagers often feel that their effort is only worth it if they get the grades they’re hoping for: this means that disappointing grades can create a downwards spiral, making it harder to stay motivated. Teens who feel that their efforts have been seen and valued regardless of outcomes will find it much easier to stay engaged and feel resilient about the future’.
- Motivate children beyond rewards and shift the conversation
Focussing on effort is something Dr Özgür Bolat also supports. ‘By changing how we motivate our children, we can avoid making grades the only measure of success, or the only reason a young person feels valued.’
Bolat, an education scientist and author of The Reward Trap, asserts that promising a prize for certain grades can make students feel their worth depends on their performance, and adds pressure to results day.
‘Rewards can seem like an easy way to encourage students, but they may backfire if they shift attention away from curiosity, growth and internal motivation.’ Says Bolat. ‘Instead, parents and teachers should recognise progress, effort, and willingness to learn, and celebrate those as real achievements’. On results day, that means moving the conversation from “What did you get?” to “What helped you keep going, and what do you want to build on next?”
- Tackle the fear of failure
Through changing how we motivate children, we can also take away the fear of failure. According to Dr Melisa Buie, a PhD scientist and author of Faceplant: FREE Yourself from Failure’s Funk, that fear can intensify around results day because students may believe one set of grades will determine how others see them.
‘Parents and teachers can help by normalising uncertainty,’ she says. ‘We need to frame setbacks as a part of learning and encourage self-compassion. Disappointment should not be treated as shameful, but as something students can move through with support.’
Dr Buie recommends simple steps to make a difference, ‘On the day, pause before reacting, avoid immediate comparison with friends, and take time to understand the options. This will help students respond with perspective rather than panic.’
- Separate self-worth from exam results
Keeping perspective is key, and something former teacher, school leader and parent-child connection expert Rachel Johnson also advocates.
Johnson, who is CEO of a large education business working with schools and author of Connected: Focusing on ‘me’ and ‘we’ says that children often remember how results day felt more than the grades themselves. ‘If they feel judged, compared or rushed, the day can become associated with shame.’ She says. ‘If they feel seen, heard and supported, even disappointing results can become the start of a constructive conversation.’
- Turn disappointment into a new opportunity
Sometimes, though, disappointment is inevitable, especially when students don’t get the results they hoped for. Eleanor Tweddell, author of Another Door Opens: 5 Steps for Navigating Change in Life and Work, says parents and teachers can reframe this as a moment of transition.
‘It’s important to remind them that a closed door does not mean that’s all there is.’ Says Tweddell. ‘Disappointment should be acknowledged, but it can also become the beginning of a different and potentially fulfilling path. We should give students the space to feel what they feel, then help them identify choices, next steps and sources of advice.’
That may mean contacting schools, colleges or universities, exploring clearing or alternative courses, considering apprenticeships, or taking time to reassess priorities.
- Show success beyond the university route
“I left school and 16 and went straight into work. Nobody taught me when I was a kid that starting your own business was as valid a career choice as anything else that’s out there, including going to university,” says Jimmy Cockerton, author of No-Risk Side Hustle.
Cockerton has since set up three businesses and worked for leading companies like Microsoft, Telefónica O2, Capita, and the UK Police. He believes there is a fundamental flaw in our education system, and that young people are still being pushed to university as the only option.
“A million young people are not in employment, education or training, and the number of open job positions has halved over the last five years. With the rise of AI, we are unlikely to ever see the same level of jobs being created again. Encouraging more young people with entrepreneurial skills to start their own businesses would not only help tackle this unemployment issue but encourage alternative career paths and help grow the economy.”
A balanced approach for results day
Results-day support is not about finding one perfect thing to say. It is about preparing for different outcomes, finding motivation that works, exploring other options, and helping students navigate change.
The most helpful adults stay calm, listen first and keep the conversation open. Exam results matter, but they do not define our future. With the right support, results day can shift from and ending to a starting point for the next chapter.
Image: Depositphotos
