It can be daunting and heartbreaking if your child is struggling to keep up at school, and even overwhelming if they miss educational milestones, avoid doing homework, reading, writing or potentially even refusing to go to school.
Subtle signs of their struggles can creep up on you, and morph into more significant challenges that can hinder and scar a child throughout their school years and sadly often into adulthood.
Research shows that if help is delayed beyond 9 years old, 75% of students often continue to struggle, especially true if their core foundational learning isn’t sufficiently robust.
One way or another, action is required to better understand why your child is struggling and to implement a support plan.
First step is to start a diary.
Document the impact of their struggles on their emotional and physical wellbeing. Be mindful of behaviour, sleep patterns, bed wetting, mood swings, resistance to learn, evidence of self-harm etc. Be factually accurate and remove emotion, which I know can be extremely hard, but this information will be the foundation for your ‘business case’ and potentially evidence for a SEND Tribunal to secure the right support for your child.
Next step as a parent, or care giver, is to become highly informed; on your child, your school SEN Department and your Local Authority (as each will be unique).
Being informed will absolutely strengthen your position.
Have a relaxed, yet intentional, chat with your child to gently understand how things are for them at school, learn about their favourite and least favourite subjects and the reasons why. It’s important not to judge, but to truly listen, as a single passing possibly throwaway comment could unlock their learning (don’t forget to update the diary).
Book a routine eye and hearing test to rule out or address any physical impairment.
Review their schoolwork, assignments, exam papers, essays and written work – and when I say review, I mean to objectively analyse their work, and if possible, compare with classmates. This will give you a deeper sense of understanding when pushing for help and support for your child.
From my own experience, as a mother of profoundly dyslexic twins, until I took a sneaky look at their friends’ schoolwork, I didn’t truly appreciate how far behind they were. As my only children, I was benchmarking them against each other. It was a shock to realize other children were able to remember, write and correctly spell their full name and addresses… who knew!
Spend time, with absolute objectivity, watching your child write, grip the pen, form a word and spell. Ask yourself if their handwriting is legible, are they able to articulate on paper what they wish to convey, or are they dumbing down their written language due to lack of confidence, poor spelling or weak handwriting?
Play games with very subtle emphasis on working out change and discounts, calculating the cost of shopping, writing shopping lists, reading a magazine etc.
I am very aware that this all sounds like regular good parenting, but believe me, it will create an amazing foundation allowing you to better position help for your child and critically; by being informed, it will be harder for the wool to be pulled over your eyes. Remember you will need to be your child’s strongest ally, advocate and spokesperson.
Once fully informed, write to request a meeting with teachers and SENCO. From this moment onwards, all correspondence should be in writing, retaining copies for future reference, with dates and meeting requests entered into your diary.
All promises, feedback and comments made by school must be followed up in writing and kept for future reference and/or evidence.
During a first meeting discuss your child’s progress and concerns. The outcome of these initial conversations will very much depend on each school, each scenario, each teacher and each SENCO. The more structured, concise and informed you are, the better the outcome.
Following these conversations, and in an ideal world, the school will make necessary adjustments, and your child will be able to access the curriculum. Bingo!
Changes could include:
- Sitting at the front of the class
- Printed lesson notes, negating the need for written note taking
- Additional support; 1:1, Teaching Assistant, time with teacher
- Extra 25% time in exams
- Touch typing notes and essays
- Exam scribe: reading/writing
- Revised curriculum
- Cream paper and blue ink
- Equipment: pen grips, wiggle board, assistive technology
However, and not wanting to get your hopes up, this isn’t always the case.
If the school is hesitant, delaying or unable to help, it’s time to tune into Tiger Mummy or Daddy!
Continue to request support and action in writing. If progress is slow or non-existent, you can request a fully funded Educational or Psychologist Assessment and Educational Health and Care Plan (EHCP), which is a legally binding document to structure and outline support for your child.
However, if the school isn’t responding to requests for help the likelihood for a funded assessment or EHCP is very low.
At this point, you have a few options:
- Self-fund an independent assessment, prices range from £570 – £1,500 and use the assessment to secure support at school.
- Consider changing schools.
- Consider self-funding private tuition to close foundational gaps, learn coping strategies, hints and tips.
- Consider Home Schooling.
- Push for funded assessment and/or EHCP.
Pushing for a funded assessment and/or EHCP can be arduous, lengthy, disheartening and costly, but if successful will ensure your child receives required support either at current or a specialist school, up to the age of 25 years old.
Success is not guaranteed. Your Local Authority may refuse a funded assessment, EHCP or issue an EHCP that does not fully support your child’s needs.
Again, you will have a couple of choices; you can stop the process and explore the options above or appeal the decision, by going to SEND Tribunal.
Please note there are very strict guidelines and timelines for an appeal, that must be adhered to.
At a SEND Tribunal a judge and panel of experts will review the case, assessments, medical findings, your diary feedback and a ruling will be made. Legal or self-representation are permitted.
The SEND Tribunal process will require sheer determination and tenacity!
In my professional and personal experience, it can be a battle to achieve a positive end goal. Thankfully many families are successful, funding is approved, and children are given the chance to access the right education for them. Funded support is possible, but Tiger Mummy or Daddy will be required.
To conclude, most children struggle due to a Specific Learning Difficulty (SpLD), which includes Dyslexia, ADHD, ASD, Dysgraphia and OCD. Often conditions co-exist, the spectrum is huge and diverse, as SpLD brains are physically wired differently and to dispel common myths, SpLD students have average to above average IQ.
A couple of points to hold on to; 42% of entrepreneurs are dyslexic and neurodiverse children have so many amazing gifts, they will shine brightly in the right environment.
It’s vital that your child’s self-esteem and self-confidence are protected. They are wired differently, so it’s okay to reduce the number of exams taken in one year, it’s okay to touch type instead of writing and it’s okay to learn differently, because they are wonderfully creative, nimble minded and amazing problem solvers.
Julie is founding member of Juunipa Tutors and a mother of twin dyslexic boys. Juunipa Tutors provide hand-selected pupil matched private tuition for all key stages, attainment levels and boards, across a diverse subject portfolio. They have a specialist team of SEN tutors for SpLD students, offer bespoke children’s touch-typing, mind mapping and home schooling.
By Julie Reeves founder of Juunipa Tutors.
Further information can be found at www.juunipatutors.co.uk or by contacting [email protected]
