How to be mindful of your own wellbeing when caregiving for an autistic child
Thursday 30th January 2025 is Parent Mental Health Day – a nationwide event which promotes awareness of the critical link between parents’ mental health and family wellbeing.
Research shows that caregivers of children with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) often experience impaired mental health, including anxiety and depression, a poorer quality of life and wellbeing, and higher levels of stress as compared to caregivers of typically developing children.
Dr Warlow, founder of The Nook Clinic and a leading expert in neurodevelopmental conditions, is passionate about supporting parents of children that have been diagnosed with autism.
She said: “Parents and caregivers of children with autism can be so devoted to their care, that they do not prioritise their own mental health. A lack of sleep, advocating for their child’s needs and supporting with emotional regulation at times in the context of challenging behaviour can all cause stress and anxiety.’
“Post-diagnosis can be a particularly emotional but also empowering time, as both caregiver and child learn about autism and adjust their lives to cater for their strengths and needs, and there are many experts and support groups available for parents that also provide practical advice during this period.’
“It can also be challenging for parents of children who show traits of neurodivergence but remain undiagnosed. Long waiting lists can delay answers and support, leaving families feeling overwhelmed as they try to navigate supporting their child’s needs.’
But having an autistic child also brings unique joys and benefits and Dr Warlow believes that the diagnosis should be celebrated. She said: “Autistic children can have deep passions, creative problem-solving skills, and alternative ways of thinking that can inspire those around them. Autistic children teach patience, empathy, and the beauty of seeing the world differently.”
Here Dr. Selina shares her tips of looking after your mental health if you’re a parent or caregiver of a child with autism.
Seek social support
Having an autistic child can feel isolating without having a strong support network, but connecting with parents who understand the challenges associated with neurodiverse children can provide emotional relief.
Take action: Reach out to other parents of autistic children, either in person or online. Parent support groups, both local and virtual, offer shared experiences and advice. The National Autistic Helpline has a great parent to parent emotional support helpline which is provided by trained volunteers. It’s also important to lean on family members and friends who can offer emotional or practical help.
Practice self-compassion
Parents of autistic children can often feel guilty or inadequate, especially when challenges arise. By practising self-compassion, parents can reduce feelings of failure and increase resilience. Self-compassion involves treating yourself with kindness and accepting that you are not alone.
Take action: Be kind to yourself when things don’t go as planned. Avoid harsh self-criticism and remind yourself that you are doing your best under challenging circumstances.
Focus on what you can control
Parents of children with autism can feel overwhelmed by the unpredictability of their child’s needs. Accepting that some things are outside of your control can help you focus your energy on the things that you can influence.
Take action: Break down large tasks into more manageable goals. Dr Warlow always recommends changing one thing at a time, as too much change in the home can feel overwhelming for an autistic child. For example, if you decide to introduce a visual timetable in the home, have this up for at least one week before introducing another change.
Celebrate small victories, such as successfully navigating a challenging situation with your child. Focusing on the positive aspects of life can also help shift your mindset and reduce feelings of stress and negativity. Keeping a gratitude journal or sharing one thing you are thankful for each day with a friend or family member can also help you focus on the present and cultivate a more positive outlook. A nice way of doing this is to have a jar at home and at dinner time, everyone in the family can write down anything that went well. It can be lovely to then reflect on these together.
Keep educated and speak up for your needs
Staying informed about autism and treatment options can help parents and caregivers to feel more in control of their child’s care. Knowledge can reduce feelings of uncertainty and stress. Being an advocate for your child, as well as your own needs ensures that you are empowered to make informed decisions.
Take action: Learn about autism through books, workshops, and reputable online resources. Reach out to healthcare providers, educators, or autism specialists who can help guide your decisions. Don’t hesitate to ask for support in navigating the systems your family interacts with.
Practice mindfulness
Parenting a child with autism can involve navigating complex challenges, heightened stress, and emotional intensity. Mindfulness is a practice with roots in meditation and breathwork and focuses on coaching yourself to become more equipped to cope with difficult or unhelpful thoughts and can provide space to regulate your own emotions. It can be difficult to support someone else if you are not taking care of your own needs first.
Take action: Mindfulness comes in various forms, from colouring in, yoga, running, body scans, practicing breathing techniques and medication. The mental health charity Mind has lots of example exercises you can try to get you started.
Make time for rest and recovery
Caregiving without rest can lead to exhaustion and burnout. Parents need the opportunity to recharge to continue providing care for their child. Taking intentional breaks and allowing yourself time to recover physically and mentally is essential for maintaining your well-being.
Take action: Schedule regular ‘self-care’ time, whether it’s a day off or a few hours of quiet. Whether you go for a walk, treat yourself to a massage, or connect with a friend over a coffee. Don’t feel guilty about taking time away from caregiving – rest is necessary for sustainable care. Most importantly ask for help, do not try, and do everything on your own. Speak to friends and family and see if they can help for a few hours so you can have some self-care time.
Image: Depositphotos
